God Taking

So it's been a rough week, and I don't usually talk about my specific circumstnaces here on the world wide web, just because it's so....world wide.  But this post has to do with how I am/was feeling and you can't get that without a back story. 

So Sunday, we were going to a family reunion.  Got all dressed up, made a dessert to bring.  We came outside to a goat that had previously been ill, taking a turn for the worse.  We suspected she wouldn't make it through the day.  So we canceled everything, loaded up the truck and drove to the vet where we spent the rest of the day.  End of day 1. 

Monday was mostly normal except for the fact that we now had a goat that was in a lot of pain, couldn't stand and needed to be hand fed and watered. 

Tuesday we woke up to poor Emma is real bad shape.  The vet came and put her to sleep.  It took her a long time to die.  Her name was Emma and she was our queen doe.  Best milker, best momma, a tad lacking in personality, but she was my mom's favorite.  I painted Emma a rock (all dead animals get "their rock").  Dad brought home takeout.  End of day 3. 

Wednesday my cat died.  I knew he was getting old and he didn't have much time left, but I certaily wasn't expecting it that day.  I held my Tuckie Boy in my arms as his body grew cold and his breathing became more and more labored.  I had to leave him, still holding on by a thread, because I had to go to work.  Mom called later as I was at register to tell me he died at 4:30.  Came home from work, and found his rock.  End of day 4. 

Day 5 and 6 pass in a blur.

                           Friar Tuck aka Tuckeroo - he hated the camera, always had his "grumpy face" on

                                                                  Emma girl

I was thinking of all the animals we've lost at Amazing Grace Farm this year, more than we ever have before.  Way more than I like.  First the family dog, Morgan.  Then my dove Woosong.  Countless chicks, some dieing in my cupped hands.  My favorite rooster Sunshine, who followed me around like a dog.  Aurthur, Sunshine's son who grew up to be just like his dad.  Daisy's stillborn kid.  Yeah, it's been bad.  And no matter what the farmers may tell you, it's hard to loose an animal.  They're your friends, they provide for you with eggs, milk and therapy and I miss the ones we've lost.

My verse for the week:

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all  Psalm 34 18-19

I know they're just animals, but they were still important to me.  If God notices when a sparrow dies, he cares when His daughter looses a creature that was dear to her heart.  I have peace knowing that God orchestrates all. He gives and He takes. This week, He took, and my heart is sad, but I know He is near.