A Change In Direction

I can't believe how far this blog has come, actually, how far I've come.  I started this thing with the plan to figure out how to balance my natural rough and tumble self, to the strong, yet feminine standard that presents itself in conservative Christianity.  I haven't really mentioned it before, but for some time now I have completely chucked that idea out the window.  I've stopped trying to change myself, to neaten myself up.  I've stopped trying to dress, do my hair, speak, or have the hobbies that other people say I should have.  I've been being me.  God is changing me, but it has nothing to do with the rose and the sword.  I like what I like.  I can dress like a hobo, take martial arts, watch anime, and collect medieval weaponry and not feel guilty.  "But how will you attract a guy?" I hear.  Well you know, I sort of have other goals right now.  I felt no need to be something I wasn't to please other people, let alone some mysterious person I don't even know.  I was tired of the balancing acts, so I just lept off the tightrope and am bouncing happily on the net.  So yeah, I'm not changing the title but this blog really isn't about that anymore.  

Another thing that I'm going to start doing is writing honestly.  I hold so much back on here.  What started out as a place for me to honestly express myelf has been narrowed down to a place where only a trickle of my life is allowed to seep through.  This is due to me personally knowing many of my readers.  My parents read this blog, my pastor reads this blog, and I am such a spazz about what and how much I share so I don't offend anyone, or give people a weapon they can use to hurt me in "real life"

I'm tired of that.

I'm going to make a intentional effort to write to connect with people who experience the same struggles as me, and I can't do that unless I actually write about those struggles.  So if you're reading this, and you're in my life on a regular basis, you have been warned, craps about to get real in here.  And as Master George says "If you can't handle the heat, get the hell outta the kitchen".