This time of year, people's blogs are usually chock full of lists of things they are grateful for. It's a pretty common practice and up until a few weeks ago, Halloween to be exact, I was planning on doing it too.
But then someone I loved died. And now to be perfectly honest, I don't feel like I have a whole lot to be thankful for. My head knows that's not true, my heart...not getting the memo.
While washing dishes this morning, I looked out the window and saw the wispy white clouds and thought about the time I cloud watched with William in the middle of a green soccer field. It was time to start being grateful again. At first the only thing I could think of was the pretty flowers painted on the saucer I was washing, they had such a nice watercolor effect. Things got easier after that first hurdle and now my journal pages are filling with something other than my hurt.
Even if it's forced at the very first, true obedience and gratitude does come. Perhaps a heart being filled with thanksgiving will empty out the sadness. It certainly doesn't hurt to try, it helps occupy my mind anyways. Here's a sampling:
blasting country music with Emils in the car and singing at the top of our lungs, ice cream with homemade hot fudge, apple wine, laughing over dinner with my family, sarcasm, bonfires in the middle of November, discussions with Stacia about introvert vs extrovert, ninja movies, "holy kiss" moments with Amanda (not as bad as it sounds and involves no actual kissing), candles, leather, snuggling against the goats to keep warm outside, Loki quote wars with Matthew in which I lose, and playing with a hula hoop like I used to 12 years ago.
Being thankful is hard at first, especially when life gives you lemons but you have no sugar or water to make lemonade. The first step is being thankful they're lemons and not hand grenades I guess.
PS I really hope this post wasn't too personal, I usually avoid those, if it was too mushy let me know
Victoria, I have a good friend who lost her husband when she had a toddler and a baby on the way. She was understandably distraught but her mother encouraged her to write down one thing she was thankful for. She said she couldn't...but she finally did. And each day she struggled to think of one more thing and with time, her heart was transformed to one of gratefulness to the Lord for the many, many good gifts He gives. Writing them down is a good way to remind ourselves that His love toward us is limitless!
ReplyDelete"The first step is being thankful they're lemons and not hand grenades I guess. "
ReplyDeleteHa! That is perfect. :D