#3 Men and Woman are Different
Duh. We all know this, but can we live with it? Like every day, for like, EVER? Honestly, male habits annoy me and right now, I couldn't live intimately with one 24/7.
Guys need to be respected, girls, we need to be Ok with that, we need to know how to deal with the (sorry fellas) delicate male pride, building them up and making them feel needed and strong. It makes me wince to hear a woman berating a man, tearing him down. If he has an ego problem, God needs to deal with that, and we can say so in a gentle manner, we can't take it upon ourselves to correct the behavior. Verbal praise and confidence in their ability make a man feel on top of the world. If you tell him he could fight a thousand men to protect you, he will feel like he can and maybe, just maybe, he actually could. Even if you could do it yourself, let the guy do it, support your local chivalry.
Women on the other hand, long for security and understanding, we just want someone to care and to know, and if they don't know at least strive to find out. We want a man to understand our inner heart and still be loved despite what might be found there. It's painful for us to share what's on our heart and how we're feeling only to be criticized. We're taking a considerable risk opening up since it goes against our instincts to be safe, so don't make us regret it. And here's something I noticed, guys are fine learning about how his girl ticks early on, but as the years pass he loses interest, or thinks he's got it all down. Well, ideally that would be right, but us girls, we change, a lot more the guys do. For instance, Italian food may be her favorite when you're courting, but 10 years in, don't be surprised if she isn't as thrilled as you thought she would be when you take her our to that Italian restaurant for the 500th time. She probably likes Chinese now.
#4 Worth It
For a long time, I vowed that I would never get married because I looked around me and saw nothing but marital heartache and brokenness. Love's not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for, and all I saw was the fight. I have to fight to get anything in this life, and love was the one thing that I didn't want to involve battle, just that one thing. And that's true, war has no place in love, sacrifice however does, and sometimes to sacrifice what you want for someone else, it takes a battle of your wills. Love isn't the problem there, only your own selfishness.
Marriage is such a solemn thing, not to be entered into lightly because you're lonely and think it would be fun or a solution to your problems. It's a vow, a holy vow, not even to another human, but to God. So even when your spouse is breaking their promises you have no excuse to break yours. Forever is a long time. I look at marriage, REAL marriage and honestly it scares the crap out of me. It's one of those beautiful terrible things with so much power and spiritual truth that it's frightening to even handle. I guess that's why you're not ready until God says you are and miraculously brings you that one person in the entire universe that you would risk everything for.
Pretty much all I just said is wrapped up in this song which I love, and listen to often to remind myself that despite everything love is worth it, even when you don't feel it, even when the odds are against it, love is worth it.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."
1 John 4:18
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