What Could Happen to You If You Skip Church

This is a rant/spoof/overview post on my day yesterday also knows as- What COULD happen to you if you skip church to go to a animal swap.  You might have to look out for stray lightning bolts, and the plague, or...who knows, so don't worry, I tested it out for you.  So if you decide to play hooky as a pew warmer, you at least know what to expect.

You might.....
-Have to wake up early to catch bouncy baby goats
-Ignore the cries of said baby goats as you drive your loaded down truck to the feed store where you plan to set up shop
-Rush to set up your booth in a parking lot rapidly filling up with other farmers
-Finally finish and realize that it's an hour before the actual sale starts, get bored before the day even begins
-Try REALLY hard to get stingy rednecks to at least sample your products
-Wait
-Play with baby goats while waiting
-Sell no goats
-Sell no soap
-Get a wonderful surprise visit from half your church!  
-Spend more money than you earned buying local goods
-After 6 long hours, pack up
-Unload the now wailing goats back to their also wailing mother
-Clean up for family birthday dinner
-Arrive late to predetermined restaurant
-Have to hug people you barely know
-Sit at the end of the table, unable to hear any conversation
-Read the Bible on your smartphone to pass the time
-Tweet to pass the time
-Pray to pass the time
-Have to hug goodbye with people you barely know
-Have your car stop running, not once, not twice, but multiple times on the highway
-Pray that you can make it home, preferable in one piece
-Have to restart every 5 minutes and go 10 mph, but finally reach your road
-Have car get stuck at the bottom of the hill on your road
-Have to get out and push the car up the hill
-Fail in doing so, realize it looks easier in The Sound of Music and say so
-Walk the rest of the way home in the dark which allows you to see the beautiful stars
-Drop into a comatose sleep

There you go.  You don't want to jump into something without knowing what might happen.  Now you know the possibilities.  Can't wait to go to church next week.  Though we really do need to sell the last of our baby goats.