J127 Rehash

Recently, I've been sick and have been taking it easy.  I was going through my bookshelf and came across my J127 binder.  I flipped through and found it surprisingly bare, and for a moment I half wished I wasn't such an anti-packrat allergic to clutter who throws everything away.  I still have some main stuff, but there were little scraps I had kept only to throw away weeks after I got home.  What I did find brought back a wash of memories that made me smile.  The binder was broken up into 3 sections, one for each part in the program-Dive Into God, Heart for the Nations and Holiness.  In the pockets on the sides I found our daily song lists and some strips of paper printed with clues for the multiple riddle hunts we went on.  One such quest based every clue off one of us students and trait of ours.  My clue dropped out of my white binder.  Victoria we love your Vibrancy. Get it, V, V?  Anyways, I thought that was funny.

In the first section I found my personality profile analysis, which to some may not seem important, but for me, using facts to understand things like how and why people act the way the do, makes a whole lot of sense.  Using the DISC pattern, I'm DC, creative profile.  I was skimming the pages and saw this piece highlighted.   At the time I guess I thought this was important, after reading it, I understood.

On the surface, you may have a contradictory nature.  For example, you often display great sensitivity, but do not hesitate to show aggression to get what you want.            

Yup, that's me.  Moving on, I read through some of my notes.  We heard from a lot of speakers, some good, some great and some I had issues with.  I can tell when I was getting bored because then vines and flowers spring up from among my letters and margins.  The more I like a speaker, the more notes I take, sometimes there are pages and pages for just one speaker and sometimes there's just a paragraph and country landscape that rivals Picasso.

After each section of the course we were required to write a three page overview on what stood out to us in that section.  I somehow got away with handing in only one, and writing only two.  Well, it's far enough past now to admit it.

I have special Bible verses and quotes scribbled on the page dividers and pockets, as well as on the front and back of the binder.  On the front, I have Philippians 3:8 because it described my outlook and reasoning for being there to begin with.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

Inside pocket is scrawled "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me".  That line and all that it means became very clear to me over those weeks.  Then Psalm 126:5-6

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy. He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

Lastly, as I closed the binder, I wrote in red "In living we die, In dying we live".  A short little phrase that you need to think about for a while.  We think we're doing ourselves a favor surviving and going about our lives, but we're really dying, inside and out.  Only when we crucify our flesh and die to sin can we truly live.  That's good stuff.

Before I left, my pastor posed me with a challenge which he presumably forgot to ask me about when I got home.  He said that I may get something out of J127, I may learn a few things about God.  When I go to Honduras I should think about J127 and compare the two experiences and see which one I learned more from. which one impacted me more.  Sitting here now with both times well past me, I say to myself "I can't".  It's like comparing pine cones and tires.  They both were so different but none less important than the other.  I wouldn't trade either one in for anything.

I sit here and think about all the things I learned at J127, the spiritual and the temporal.  I got to come face to face with the what and the why of certain things I believe, and things I don't believe.  I stopped sitting on the fence on certain arguments in my mind.  I met the Prince of Peace a midst adversity.  I learned a little of Malay, I learned a little boxing, and I learned how to love a little and not be afraid.  My hardened heart was turned to flesh on the topic of missions, because before I never thought much of it.  I learned how to like ramen noodles and make them yummy, I learned some archery, did a lot of "air hugging", and found out I really don't like Jazz.  I took part in a such genuine worship of the Almighty in song that I would just cry because I was so grateful.  Yeah, it was a time when there was lots of emotion in with my truth, but that didn't make the truth less truthful.  I needed that emotion because sometimes my walk gets stale without it.  I made new friends, and even though we don't talk much now, and we're all far away from each other, I know they are there, if ever I need them, and should we meet again we can pick up right where we left off.

So, I'm reminiscing about my days in the fall at the Generations of Virtue James127 gap semester, and maybe I'm missing those peeps just a tad.  I remember that the events of my life, the bad, and in this case good, have helped shape me to be the person I am right now.  Just as the events on my future will continue to change me.  I can only surrender my experiences and my unknowns to my Creator.