How To: Wisdom Teeth Removal in 5 Easy Steps

I'm officially stupid now...the last of my wisdom teeth are gone.  I got them done two at a time because it's cheaper than getting them done all at once and have to "go under".  So you're conscious but numb on one side of your face from your hairline to your collarbone.  Last year, it was easy, my teeth we already half emerged and they seemed to pop right out in no time with little effort or discomfort on my part.  At home, I was sore, but not terribly so.  By the next day I was gingerly eating regular food.  This time I went and the dentist said, and I quote "This time it's gunna be a lot more painful and there's gunna be a lot more swelling", he went on to explain why in dentist language.  Ok, at least he was honest with me.  But I have a step by step plan on dealing with uncomfortable medical/dental procedures.  And considering how miserable a time it was, I of course get to blog about it.  Here it is for everyone's educational pleasure.

Step 1: Make a playlist.
Most people don't realize that you can listen to your Ipod while in the dentist chair, but one day I asked and they nodded an emphatic "yes".  So I have a special playlist just for that.  Stay away from soft music as it doesn't drown out the drilling/scraping/cracking and otherwise scarring noises as well as rockier tunes.  Also steer clear of emotional music, while you're drugged you're a lot less restrained so you could burst out crying at any point.

Step 2: Go "Inside Yourself"
It's a term I use that means to get lost in thought, you can make yourself do that actually, with a bit of practice.  Don't freak out, it's not some Eastern religion gunk I picked up, I just taught myself over the years to "zone out" as a good survival tool.  Before hand, pick a memory, a good long, detailed one, that you know by heart, one you can "watch" in your mind to forget about your surroundings.  Works like a charm.  In case you were wondering, I chose to watch the memory of the group of us at J127 running around the dark Mission with one flashlight, on our riddle hunt while singing ridiculous songs.

Step 3: Be grateful
Basically remember to thank Jesus for modern pain killers in dentistry and medicine.

Step 4: Be Epic
I like to pick out a movie I really like before hand and get it all set up for when I get home.  Go for something epic and imagine yourself the main character.  I was Batman yesterday.  This boosts morale considerably.  Make sure to have some jello ready or, like in my case, have a great mom and sister to do that for you. 

Step 5: Get Support
Human support is nice, though sometimes too interactive.  Whenever suffering after a procedure of any kind surrounding yourself with licking/purring furry things that like to snuggle.  Yes, thank you Albert, Katniss, and Rue, my support team and heat generators.

Above all, don't be too dramatic and write a blog post about it, especially when on heavy doses of pain killers so that everything you say sounds extremely clever to yourself, oh....wait......