Recently I have been seized with a sudden urge to bake random things. I have so much free time and Christmas is around the corner so I am very happy to make cookies for a good hunk of the day. I don’t have much opportunity to play with my swords, since I left them in Colorado, so God has been teaching me some things about being a rose. I have a little reluctantly sheathed my sword (but never dropped it!) and started dancing the graceful life of a rose for this season. The life of a warrior is exciting, full of adventure, and that is what my heart longs for, and there are times when I get that, but then there are times when God tells me to leave the battle for a while and work out some things in peace. So here I am. Trying to balance grace and strength.
I have started looking for beautiful things in everyday life. Trying to see the gifts God has given me, the ones that I miss, especially when I am engrossed in a battle. There is always, always something beautiful in a day, sometimes you have to look hard, but there is always something. Like something small, something so small that you would think nothing about if you weren’t looking. Like just today I noticed how golden the morning light is as it streaks into my room in hazy shafts. I just noticed how brilliantly green my cats eyes are when they flash in the sun. Or how my sisters hair tumbles down her back like a black waterfall. Or like how much I realized I love a good story, whether it be from a book, or a someone’s mouth, or a movie. And a couple times this week I got to feel the way a horse moves under me as we are riding down our road.
I have been using these realizations to keep me content and away from the longing for constant business. I thank God for His faithfulness to quiet my restless and impatient heart. I think I may even be becoming an optimist. Almost, but not quite.
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