Pick Your Battles

You've grown up in a Christian home, you know the facts, you've got the knowledge, you've probably spent most of your high school life preparing that thesis for the argument with the first atheist that comes into your path.  "Oh look, someone who doesn't know the truth!  ATTACK!" and soon you engage, spurting out Bible verses and theological philosophical arguments, when all the person in front of you wants to do is deliver your mail.

I know myself well enough to know I'm a little trigger, I mean blade happy.  I know the heart of a true warrior doesn't take pleasure in violence, but in doing what is right.  As a Christians I shouldn't take pleasure in proving someone wrong, but in revealing them the love and salvation of Christ.

I have had some good friends that didn't believe in the true love of God.  It is the same with most of my relatives.  When I hang out with these people I really need to pick my battles.  Sometimes the time is right to speak up and proclaim the truth boldly, but a lot of the times it isn't.  Most of the time, showing them genuine friendship and love is the way to soften their heart before the gospel seeds can be planted.

Pick your battles, sometimes the rose is more effective than the sword.  

God Isn't Logical

This has been coming up a lot in my life.  Usually when I keep hearing a message over and over from all different people, I know God is trying in a not so subtle way to tell me something. 
This is usually how the conversation goes.
"God isn't logical Victoria"
"But logic makes the most sense."
"But God doesn't make sense and neither does love"
"I just don't understand that!"
"You're not supposed to understand it, you can't".
"I know!  But I don't understand why I can't understand!"
"Oh, Victoria, you're hopeless" *in the most loving friendly way*

The joke in our family is how I am like Susan from Narnia and how in the movies and books she is very logical and practical. 

With British accent: "Well if you think about it logically...." 


I believe God isn't completely illogical because He is the Creator of logic and placed it in the human mind (in some more than others, sorry, had to add that).  But He isn't held down or boxed in by either logic or emotions or any other outside force, He is just...God.  Yeah, I don't get it.  And as a believer in the sword, I like what is "real", what is logical, what I can wrap my head around.  I like to understand things because sometimes I measure my worth in what I can understand and accomplish.  When I can't figure something out, I feel worthless.  I am so glad Jesus is the One who gives me my worth. 
 
So the latest struggle is understanding that I can never understand God or His ways, or even His love, and still know that I am made valuable through Him even when my logic fails me.