Monday, March 2, 2015

Faking It At Church

Recently I've been helping Emily find a new church.  She shared with me her struggles of putting on a happy face for church and pretending that life is fine and dandy at home.  I didn't think that our church was that kind of place, a place where you have to pretend to be perfect for everone or they would self destruct.  I realized that wether or not you pretend is completely up to you.  

I've found a safe haven at Hope Bible, a place to be myself, and not have to fake it.  Some Sundays I come in, minutes before my family, frustrated and stressed.  "breathe Victoria!" Is usually what I hear from the peanut gallery.  A look or a sigh is usually enough to indicate what's going on after the chipper pre service "How's it going?" There's more time for talking after the sermon is over where we bear each others burdens in way of encouragement.  I have finally stopped giving the automatic "I'm doing great!" response to every sincere "How are you?"  It's taken years to beat out, but openness and honesty are the only ways we can help each other.  

I pray Emily learns that.  I know it's hard to break out of old habits, especially when fights in the car and prompt painted on smilies are a good chunk of your church memories.  I'm pretty sure I'm the only one in my family that feels comfortable enough in our church to be this way.  Just recently, after a week where my mom was having a rough go of it, Jen, a close friend at church asked her "How are you this week?" I watched from a few feet away, curious to see how my mom would respond.  "I'm doin good!" she prompty chirped.  I raised my eyerow at her.  Why people feel the need to blatently lie makes no sense to me.  If your situation is a sensative matter, I get it, you can't just blurt it all out in front of everone, but a simple "It's been rough" or "Eh, I'm alive" is enough to signal a hug or word of encouragment.  

Seriously, lets be real people.  My patience for little word games is waning.  

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