A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
A long time ago I was lamenting to someone on my lack of friends. And they gave me the first line of this verse. Their suggestion was that maybe I didn't have friends because I wasn't personable. Needless to say that stung.
Living in a rural area and going to a very small church make it so my circle of support is.....maybe not what I would like it. I was feeling lonely last week and this past conversation came to mind. And I started to search my mind and heart to see if I was the problem. Bullet points were checked off in my mind.
I have some people who I consider friends when I'm with, but when I'm here on the farm, they're very far away and contact is pretty rare. Huge impassable rifts have come between any old friends I had from my childhood, people change, for good and bad. I'm friends with people years younger-and older than me at church. But no female friend I can go have tea with, or shopping with, or do crazy everyday things with.
I don't reach out to long distance people for fear of looking needy...
I don't start conversations for fear of looking desperate....
I don't love whole heatedly because I may not be loved back...
I don't always WANT to be with most people because I'm so introverted...
I don't always act friends with people even if I consider them so, "just in case"....
I don't....I don't...I don't.
Then God opened my eyes to the second half of that verse. There is a person that sticks closer than a brother. And that's Him. He is all I need. Who am I to question where and with what people He places me. I still pray for that close girlfriend that every girl has/wants, I don't think God has a problem with that, but I've stopped questioning Him. I still haven't let myself completely off the hook yet, maybe I need to be a little more friendly, though I'm not quite sure how, I'm still learning.
There's one thing I know for sure though-Jesus is enough for me.
Victoria,
ReplyDeleteYou have learned this important truth at an early age. It took me about 40 years to learn it! Every time I made a close friend, the Lord took her away through a move, a marriage...some circumstance removed her from my companionship. After one of those departures and while I was crying my eyes out...again, I heard the Lord say to me (not audibly), "I am all you need." And that changed everything for me. Now, I don't know if the Lord caused those ladies to leave me to teach me that valuable lesson, but He sure used those circumstances to draw me closer to HIm. One of my good friends told me a couple of years ago that her husband might be transferred out of the area and she might be moving. And I very "matter of factly" said, "Of course you are." I had become some accustomed to my friends leaving that I've become comfortable with it. Now, as the Lord would have it, she didn't move after all. What a blessing! But I am content with whatever the Lord chooses for me in regard to my friendships. Sometimes they seem plentiful and sometimes they seem nonexistent. But I do, in fact, have a friend who sticks closer than a brother! And so do you! I cling to the verse that says, "I will never leave you, nor will I ever forsake you," (Hebrews 13:5). And concerning all those fears you listed, that same verse goes on to say, "...so that we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man to do to me?'
Go for it, Victoria. Love abundantly!
This sounds very familiar...
ReplyDeleteI have lots of friends--way older, way younger, and very far away. :P And it's been like that most of my life, since we moved around a lot when I was younger. And I don't even live in a rural area or go to a really small church. :P There just aren't many people my age here... and the ones that are my age talk a different language, practically.
But--for a long time, God has been teaching me the same thing about HIM being my friend. At first I didn't really think it was all that great, but the closer I've grown to Him and the more I have realized how awesome He is... the more amazed I've been. It's crazy that He would want to be friends with us!!
P.S. I don't think it's desperate when you contact me. ;)
You have reached a very mature conclusion with this post Victoria! You are among the few who graduate at the top of their class in high school, and yet have no plethora of friends ;) Growing up you don't get a say in where you live, go to school, church etc, you basically do what adults and parents tell you to, and I'd say you have definitely done the best that you could with the limited social resources available to you, and considering that your main focus in life has been your relationship with "God/Jesus" and your faith, you could even look at your lack of social contacts as a blessing - even less things to distract you from what matters most to you in your life. I can tell you first hand as nice as having friends can be, they can also become distractions and burdens - at least the friends that you do have are like-minded and will only serve to help build you up and share in your faith. Another thing you may come to realize is that you're an adult now. You can go to any church or any non-rural area you want to! You have the love and support of your family, but more importantly you have your faith and confidence. You know who you are, and what you stand for, which means that you could "leave the nest" and your social surroundings could change, but so long as you have that foundation to rely on things will turn out alright.
ReplyDeleteFunny you mention that you are introverted. Maybe this runs in the family? I left home AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because I didn't want to live the way the rest of you guys in the family did. While I don't regret that decision for a single second (best I ever made), I find it funny that despite always finding myself in situations/places where I am surrounded by new experiences and people, I usually prefer to do things on my own and have quiet "alone time".